Every single time I hear a Conservative ranting and raving about their "liberties" and their "freedoms," my brain quite literally clenches into a fist, and if you could see an x-ray of my cranium at that exact moment, you'd see my medulla oblongata sharply extend upwards, flipping off the sheer hypocrisy of what it was processing. It's not so much that they sound foolish when they do it. It's that I can't believe they themselves don't realize they sound foolish. And yet onward their march, hapless and sure-footed, wherever the road of hyper-partisan nonsense cares to lead them.
Most of you probably already know where I'm going with this. It's been in the news enough that anyone who pays attention to this sort of thing can figure it out pretty quickly. I'm talking of course about sex. Well, sex and other recreations. Some Conservatives "get it" (the point, not sex). They understand that selective rights are no rights at all. But the loudmouthed sex-haters, like Rick Santorum? They don't "get it." And that time, I was talking about both the point and sex.
Try to follow this train of logic, and be warned, it flies off the rails pretty quickly. A person believes the government should not dictate what they do in their lives. Sure, you're entitled to that philosophy... nothing wrong so far. That person believes the government should never tell you what insurance to buy, or what food to eat, or what substances to use. I personally start to disagree on some fronts, but shy of my own ideological differences, sure, go right ahead and believe that... it's your right to disagree. Then, that person tells you the government shouldn't care about your personal safety. Now I'm really disagreeing, because I believe any good government should defend its people from all threats, foreign and domestic, including their own stupidity. But if you disagree, again, that's your right, and who am I to deny you of that?
But then, that person tells you that abortion is wrong, and evil, and sinful. The government should step in and make them difficult to get, if not entirely impossible. A woman has no right deciding what she should do with her own body. And there you have it, folks... the train exploded so tremendously that Jerry Bruckheimer himself would blush. And believe it or not, the silliness doesn't end there. Not only should abortions be off the table, but contraceptives should be as well. Gay marriage can take a hike too, while we're at it. Because this person believes in your individual liberties, so long as you aren't getting laid, or worse... getting gay-laid!
And there you go. There's the reason why at 32 years old, I find myself worrying about suffering a stroke one of these days. It's such a perfect example of hypocrisy run amok that I truly do wish that I possessed the collegiate ability to fart on command, loudly and with driven purpose, so as to drive these lunatics away from conversation without needing to resort to a humbled slop of vulgarity and popped blood vessels.
The silver-lining here, though, is that I'm not the only person who recognizes the sheer stupidity in such an argument. Literally millions of other Americans, including many conservatives, see it as well. And the more this argument plays out in the public forum, the more people are turned away by it, and sickened by it, and start forming fists with their brains as well. I can't say for certain how many have mastered the ability to extend a middle finger with their brains yet... that's a skill at the black belt level. But give it some time, because these folks are going to get plenty of practice and exercise as the 2012 election season ventures onward.
I'm not saying you can't cherry-pick which rights you believe in. Everyone has their own set of moral principals, though rhetoric does dominate the majority of opinion these days. But when the primary focal point of said rhetoric is freedom and liberty, you'll always find yourself on the losing end of a serious debate, ten times out of nine, when you try to limit the rights of others in the same breath. Because when you do that, I'm not only worried about what's going on inside my own head... I'm also worried about what's going on inside yours.